Holiday Communication Tips

This was taken from a BlackAmericaWeb.com Newsletter I receive. I thought it would be good to share.

According to a recent Nationwide survey, one in four people will bring up a tough topic this holiday season. As families gather to break bread, we want to help ensure that those family conversations don't cause bad feelings instead of spreading that holiday love.

Top Have The Talk Holiday Communication Tips

From Harvard communication expert and coauthor of the best-selling book Difficult Conversations Sheila Heen

Share Your Conversation’s Purpose. The holidays provide the perfect time to share your stories, but let your friends and family know when you just need someone to listen. On the other hand, clearly tell them if an issue needs resolution or if you would like their input.

Pick a New Part. When families gather, members often line up in their pre-assigned positions – bystander, opposer, initiator, peacemaker. While it’s natural that people fall into a role during family conversation, make sure that you don't get pigeonholed in one role.

Realize the Issue Isn’t Always the Issue. Whatever the argument is about – where you’ll spend the holidays, who is buying what gift, what you’re having for the festive dinner – chances are this isn’t the real issue driving the dispute. If the conversation becomes difficult, you really are fighting about how you feel you are being treated by the other.

Stop the ‘Hit and Run’ with Humor. You pass the gravy and a family member hands back a sarcastic remark. Next time that happens, don’t ignore the hurtful comment, but respond – with a bit of humor. However, don’t leave it at that, because you’ve simply returned a funny quip for their sarcastic comment. Ask them to expand on what they’ve said and why they made the original comment.

Ask Questions, Don’t Assume. Never assume you know someone else’s intentions. Be an active listener and ask questions. Be curious about why someone feels the way they do or interpreted a situation the way they did.